I got a swell-sounding meatloaf recipie off Kraftfoods.com and decided to make it tonight. Their directions instruct you to cook the loaves for 25 minutes. I thought that sounded somewhat short, but, hey, I'm no cook.

Well, I pulled the pan out after about 27 minutes, cut the center of one open, and it wasn't just not done, sucker was raw. I put it back in for another 15 minutes, which made some improvement but it was STILL not all the way cooked. The timer has now just beeped signaling the end of another ten minutes. Perhaps 25 minutes over and above the suggested cook time will do the trick, eh what?

Gaaaaaahhhh! Bloody Celine Dion befouling John's "Happy Xmas (War is Over)"! Back, back! In the name of all that is good and holy, be gone, you anorexic cow! Head pounding.....ears bleeding.....gaaaaahhh!!!!

The XM radio, it is a double-edged sword.

Speaking of food-related questions: am I the only person who is made hungrier by eating an apple?

When my mom would have one of her frequent tummy upsets she would eat an apple. Not only would it settle her stomach but she'd be ready to eat a meal soon after.

I almost never eat apples but it sounded good to me the other day. My stomach didn't feel empty before I ate it. But within twenty minutes of consuming the thing I was absolutely ravenous.

Maybe mom and I are just weird...

I would really like someone to explain this to me. Why is it that if you eat something just before going to bed you actually wake up painfully hungry, whereas if it's been a couple hours before bed since you ate you wake up feeling pretty normal? There must be some kind of biological explanation for this but I'm at a loss to surmise what it might be. It doesn't seem logical to me.

Fall has finally come to Oklahoma, and with a vengeance. All day yesterday there was unrelenting, cold wind. Today the wind has moved on but it's still only a balmy 48 degrees at almost 1 p.m. Four days ago it was almost 80.

This state has got to be one of the most schizophrenic, weather-wise. I've been here 9 years now and I'm still not used to it.

I'm still here!

Can you say E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D?

I swear I don't remember being this tired for this long the first two times I was preggers. It seems like the fatigue left for a while and didn't come back until quite a bit later.

So...the big news, I guess, is we are selling our house. I could go one of two ways, here. I could give the sanitized, socially acceptable vague and evasive reason or I could just flat-out tell the truth. And since this is my blog, and I have never been accused of being socially acceptable, here's the truth: we can't afford to live here any more. Hell, we couldn't afford to live here when we moved in. We got a bad deal on our mortgage. Bad bad bad bad bad. Did I mention it was bad? Cop this: the night before closing the $*%&# woman from the bank calls us and says, "Oh, by the way, you have to have mortgage insurance and it's $550 a month." This is after we'd moved in. And unpacked partially. And the previous owners were moved into their new house upon which they were making payments. Oh yes, and I was about 8 months pregnant at the time. We kind of felt like we had to just go forward with the deal -- and we've been in trouble ever since. The fact that I haven't had a car since we sold my 4Runner in June? That's not because we are frugal or because I like not being able to set foot out of my house for days on end. That's because we can't afford another car, y'all. Not even a $500 junker. Nearly all of our income is getting sucked up by this house payment, which, by the way, went up about another $150 a couple months ago. So that's it. Finis. We are out of here.

It's a little hard letting go but not nearly as bad as I thought it might be. I had recently come to the realization that I, in the back of my mind, was not imagining us staying here forever, as I first had when we bought the place. I had/have hopes of buying a bigger place once things improve for us. I had just intended to stay here until we could do that. Instead we will have an interim house; a rental. We will stay there for a year or two while we rebuild our credit, get a steady income going and get back on our feet. We should be able to rent a decent-sized house and have our rent payment be about half what we are paying on our mortgage now. This will allow for things like a car for me, getting our cell phones turned back on (done), Christmas done with no problems, and then the really luxurious stuff like being able to go to the store and buy groceries when we run out instead of having to wait days until we can find some cash.

So better days are ahead, my friends. Our income looks to be due to increase while our expenses decrease, which is always a good situation. Once we get a few things sorted out and get the house sold we should be able to secure a vehicle for me, and not just an "it'll do" car; something I really want.

We have looked at a possible rental already and are interested in it but have not made any committments. It is actually larger than our current house. It has kind of an odd layout because it's an older house (though the inside was entirely redone this year so it's in good condition). I think it would be unbelievable good fortune if we were able to actually move UP in size going from owning to renting. However, we don't want to rush into anything, and, while I can see us making do there quite nicely for the next year or so, we are not head-over-heels in love with the place. So we are giving it till the end of the month and if it's still available we will likely take it and get out of here so the realtor can show a nice, empty house.

All in all, this is going to end up being a good thing. Robert and I are both already less stressed than we have been in a long time. Although the thought of having to pack up everything we own and move it....again....makes me want to vomit. But, hey, what doesn't these days?

Here we are today at a whopping 7 weeks along. Only 33 left to go! Ha ha ha ha ha ha.....*sob*

I know that people were blown completely out of the water to find out I am pregnant again. Three words: join the club. To give you some idea of how our (meaning my and Robert's) life tends to go, this is what happened. Over the summer I went through a phase of at least a couple of months where I was all, "Ooh! Baby! Want!" This was extremely unusual. I did not get like that at any point after Madalyn was born. John-Zachary was a happy surprise -- one of those things you didn't know you wanted but you ended up being damned glad the decision was made for you. So getting "the baby bug" (as my mommy friends call it) was completely out of left field. I was so adamant about my feelings that I mentioned it to Robert.

After the paramedics revived him he agreed to think about it for a while. I let the issue lie for a few weeks and then brought it up again, to which his response was, "I just can't handle that right now." Okay, fair enough. I was beginning to think I probably couldn't, either. So I started to try to separate myself from the idea, and wasn't actually finding it difficult. I was starting to truly feel that I was, indeed, happy with the two we had, and grateful that the infant days were behind us, and I was starting to see all the pros to being done and having our kids well on their way to older-childhood. This switch in thinking was just what the cosmic universe was waiting for. Whammo! Here you go, lady.

I'm thinking of having "Be careful what you wish for; you just might get it" tatooed on my ass.

All this aside Robert and I are excited. We both tend to operate under the guiding principle that everything happens for a reason. There's a reason we got JZ, even though we weren't planning for him, and there's a reason this next one is coming. To be honest, I've had a feeling ever since JZ was born that there was someone missing from the family. I've also always had the feeling if we had a third child it would be a girl, so we'll see how that pans out. I was right with the first two. I knew Madalyn was a girl from day one (to the point of buying girl clothes long before the ultrasound confirmed it) and I knew that if we had a second it would be a boy.

As for how I'm feeling, well -- could be worse! Actually, I'm very pleased how things are working out so far in the tummy area. I had a number of days last week when my tummy was unsettled and I had to try to think of foods that would settle it. It would last a few hours then go away for a while. I have really (knock wood) had only one bout of full-blown nausea. That was Friday night and it lasted for an hour or so. Since then, though, yesterday and today I have felt quite good. My tummy is still picky. Thinking about eating certain things (or smelling them) makes it contract in horror. Also, if I let myself get too hungry I feel crummy. But as long as I have eaten I am feeling nearly normal. I pray that this will last! Perhaps the third time WILL be a charm and I will escape having had just a week or so of stomach unrest. The severity of my sickness was cut about in half from pregnancy #1 to pregnancy #2, so I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility that it could be reduced even further with #3. I am not willing to call myself "morning sickness-free" for quite a while yet, though. The actual upchucking didn't start till 8 weeks with Madalyn and 9.5 weeks with JZ! So I will just keep my mouth shut and cross my fingers. I will say, though, that I was feeling worse by this stage in both pregnancies, if memory serves.

I am having some symptoms, though. The sneezing has begun. For some unknown reason I, in early pregnancy, go from sneezing maybe a couple times a week to a dozen or more times a day. It's bizarre. It's also pretty easy to deal with so I'm not complaining. I am pretty worn out, too. Doing a lot of falling asleep on the couch these days. I'm sure as much of the blame for that can be placed on the two kiddos I already have as the one I'm growing.

I weighed in today and haven't gained any weight since last week, which is good. The first two times I lost weight the first twelve weeks but I always assumed it was from being sick and not eating as much. On the other hand, I could just be one of those women who loses weight the first trimester no matter what. (Don't hate me -- I more than make up for it later.) I gained about 33 lbs. both times and I'm really hoping I don't go over that this time. I am swearing on my life this time that I will get back on Weight Watchers the month following the baby's birth. I will have an entire year where I get an extra 10 points a day and I don't want to waste it!

That's all I've got for today.

Ah, Denver....where to begin? Hey, how about the beginning?