I was putting some laundry in the wash and JZ was in the bathroom. Eliza was in there with him -- she likes to stand on the step stool, run the water in the sink and "brush her teeth" (suck water out of the brush is more like it). I finished what I was doing and went to find Eliza and, to my horror, there was what appeared to be a mushroom cloud in the bathroom that smelled suspiciously like the Lysol NeutraAir spray I keep in there. And then I saw it: JZ brushing Eliza's hair. Eliza's hair, which was wet and plastered to her skull as she coughed and cried. I swooped in, hollering, and tossed her into the tub, clothes, shoes and all, and started spraying water on her face. Long story short, she appears to be fine, though still smelling vaguely of air freshener.

I, personally, am gobsmacked. My kids do NOT do this kind of stuff. They aren't the kind of kids who, if you leave them alone for a few moments, will have an entire bag of flour strewn about the kitchen, or paintings on the walls done in a fetching shade of red lipstick. They just don't do insane crap like that. It never, in a million years, would've occurred to me that JZ might decide to use a can of Lysol as hairspray. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I can't imagine what he was thinking. Isn't five old enough to know better than that?

On the plus side, I don't think he'll try anything like that again. Never let anyone say that overreacting is entirely bad. I doubt he'll forget that I was really really really displeased anytime soon.