On our way out of town on Thursday the van began to overheat. We turned around and were able to get to the mechanic's where they diagnosed it as a bad water pump. The part came in on yesterday and they installed it and put on a new serpentine belt, too, because it appeared they couldn't get the other back on without it snapping. Four hundred dollars later I picked the thing up at 5 p.m.

At 8:15 this morning the kids and I got in the van to leave for school. It would not start. It wouldn't even turn over most of the time. When it did turn over and then catch it turned off immediately. I called AAA and they've towed it back to the mechanic.

Folks, I don't even know what to say. I am TIRED. I am tired of dealing with this and I don't even have the energy left to rant and rave. I have come to the realization that this is never. going. to. end. This piece of garbage is not going to just suddenly become reliable. It's just not. This is the third time it's broken down in a month. We absolutely cannot keep this vehicle, and, yet, I don't think we have a choice. We owe money on it. We could sell the van probably for about what we owe and pay it off, but then I have no vehicle and I don't know who would give us one. We could trade it in but then we're still making the payments on a car we no longer own, plus payments on a new car. What I want to know is, how does this happen? Does this crap happen to anyone else besides us? I keep trying to figure out if it's our fault....did we make some bad decision along the way that's causing all of this? I guess it is our fault we can't just walk into any dealership and be financed for a car. I get that. We screwed up. But this is ridiculous. I see dozens of people every day who are far less well off than we are and who apparently have no trouble obtaining cars. How did we manage to get ourselves into the unique position of being stuck with this nightmare of a van?

For nine months I was without a car and when this opportunity presented itself it seemed serendipitous; like the curse had finally lifted. Ha! I should've known better than that. Oh, I got a vehicle and it was even the kind I wanted.....and it's turned out to be complete shit. Apparently I complained too long and loudly about wanting a vehicle. Now I'm stuck with one whether I want it or not. Perfect.

(Sorry for that heaping helping of self-pity, everyone, but I have just HAD IT. Madalyn's birthday is in a week and I haven't gotten her gifts yet, the older two kids don't have any Halloween costumes yet, we need umpteen things for the house, and that van has cost us $900 in the past four weeks and is about to cost who-knows-how-much more that we don't have. I am sick of this.)