I am watching the Price is Right and there is a contestant on right now wearing a t-shirt that bears the inscription:

Bob's a genious.

I don't know about Bob but you, my friend, are not.

A doctor just appeared on a story on the local (Oklahoma City) news and said, and I quote, "Some of the stigmata has been removed about having weight loss surgery."

I didn't realize having your stomach stapled was ever a religious experience.

(And this guy has a Ph.D.??)

Tell me I am not the only person who bounced out of bed this morning, got the kids groomed and dressed and fed and then sent them happily off with their father to be dropped off at school....only to have them come trooping back ten minutes later because school doesn't actually start until tomorrow?

Oh, I am the only one?

Dang.

(In my defense, it wasn't that I was so anxious to get rid of them. I was actually bummed vacation was over. I just, somehow, got it in my head that they went back today. On the plus side since I am pregnant I can just blame my addled brain on that.)

Seriously.....I need to find out if there's a way to definitively determine if The Feline is a shape-shifter or has the power to rend the fabric of time and space or something.

I was in the sun room just a few minutes ago. I looked up and saw him trot by the sliding glass door (on the outside). He's not supposed to be out at all but he dashes out if you don't pay attention and Robert and the kids have been in and out all day. So I was not surprised to see him go by.

I was wrapped in a towel because I'd just gotten out of the shower so I told Madalyn to go out and get him. She disappeared for a few minutes then came back and said she couldn't find him.

Robert and the kids headed to the sun room door to leave and I was standing in the dining area. I asked Madalyn if she'd checked in the garage -- the garage door is open because Robert was working out there. She said no and I turned around to walk to the garage to look......and there was Cosmo, lying under the built-in desk right behind me.

Now. First off, I am 100....nay, 150% positive it was Cosmo who went by the door. It wasn't just a glimpse out of the corner of my eye that I took to be him. I actually locked eyes on him and watched him go by. My first thought was that the door from the house to the garage was standing open and he'd run past the sun room, into the garage and into the house while my back was turned.

Until, that is, I checked and the door was closed.

There is no other way he could've gotten into the house. I was sitting on the sun room floor when Madalyn came back in without him. He did not come in those doors. Last time I checked he had not evolved opposable thumbs, so I highly doubt he was able to open the house/garage door and come in. And even if it was standing open when he came in....it was closed when I checked! So has my cat suddenly started closing doors behind himself? Or can he evaporate like mist and pass through walls and doors? Perhaps he entered a portal to the hoary netherworld outside and popped out in a second portal located under our desk. (Note to self: call landlord to see if he'll go halfsies on an exorcism)

Too freaky. He's evil, I'm telling you.

The Incorrigible Night Owl in da' hood. I'm down wit dat, yo. (Warning: language content)

A scholar in Vatican City decided to write a book about churches around the world. He first flew to Switzerland, and started working west from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued by the sign which read "$10,000 a minute."