Grab a cup of coffee and settle in, folks. This is a long one.

Things are moving along pretty well. They've really picked up just in the past 35 minutes or so. Will be calling the midwife back soon.

Oh, and also: owie.

The contractions have spaced out now but they are still about the same in intensity. They knocked off completely for about thirty minutes at one point but then started up again on their own. Of course, I have no idea how this all works but I really can't see it stopping altogether now that it's been going along like this for over six hours. It just may take a while. I really don't know what to expect, though. I had pitocin in the hospital both times, even the first time, when I had already started labor on my own, so I have no experience with how labor progresses without the extra drug kick. I'm hoping it's a good sign that they began again on their own after taking that break. Hopefully if this wasn't really "it" they'd have stayed gone. It seems like most people I know who have false alarms have contractions for a while and then stop; they don't keep starting and stopping again all day long.

I can hope, anyway.

Something's happening, folks.

We're either at "go" time or I will be back here later today wailing and moaning about a false alarm. (Which, I'd like to point out, I've never had before in my life.)

I'm about to wake Robert up and get him started on the last-minute cleaning, just in case. I am supposed to go to the city today for an appointment with the midwife but it just may be she ends up coming here, instead!

Will keep updating.....

I think I have officially done everything that I could possibly do to prepare. Last night I even opened the two-pack of pacifiers and boiled them. To give you a point of reference, this was more than likely completely unnecessary. Both of my other babies refused pacifiers of any type and I have no reason to expect this one to be any different. But we're ready to go, just in case. The swing is also set up, the bed's been set up for over a week, all the clothes, burp cloths and blankets are washed and put away. The pocket in my nursing pillow has the necessary supplies in it. The diaper bag is packed with the necessities for our first outing. I dug through the boxes of still-unpacked knicknacks in my closet and found my statue of Heket, the Egyptian goddess of childbirth, who accompanied me to the hospital and hung out on my i.v. stand the previous two times. I am DONE getting ready. I can't think of another thing I could possibly do.

Any time now, kid.

Make her due date, that is!

For quite some time now I've had the 23rd/24th stuck in my head as the approximate arrival date of the new little girl. (Due date is the 29th.) Now, whether this is a true premonition or simply wishful thinking remains to be seen. My midwife, who is a cruel, cruel woman, tells me that, psychologically, I'm better off expecting to go ten days over because then if I don't, I'm happy, and if I do go over I'm not as upset. This is not an option. I will NOT still be pregnant come April. If I am there's going to be some kind of lawsuit. (If anyone knows who one would sue for this sort of thing, please let me know.)

I suppose there's always a chance the baby could come even earlier than the dates upon which I'm focusing. This would not be a bad thing. She's full-term now; no reason why she can't come out and join us. I keep watching for signs that progress is being made. There are a few things going on with me, upon which I will not elaborate because this is a blog and not a medical journal and there are just some things people do NOT need to know. But these things make me wonder if maybe it will happen sooner rather than later. I don't remember these things happening the first two times. However, I probably was not as vigilant before, either, as I did not expect to go into labor naturally either time. (We had inductions scheduled with both kids, though Madalyn didn't make her induction date.) Anyway, because I figured we were controlling things I was not really keeping an eye out for imminent labor signs so I may have just missed the things I am now picking up on.

At any rate, she is more than welcome to come any old time now, save for the days next week when Robert is gone up to the panhandle. After those days he's got several weeks off so then we're really in the clear for her to arrive any time. But I certainly would not be opposed to her making an appearance this week, just so long as it actually begins before Robert heads north. He would, of course, head for home immediately if anything began to happen but it's a long drive and I don't want the two of them racing to see who gets here first.

I'm off to go jump up and down a lot or run up and down the hill out back or something.

I am so, so impatient right now.

I have reached a point that, aside from the obvious being physically ready to be done (which I've been since basically the first month or so), I am psychologically fed up. I'm bored with being pregnant. Shopping for baby stuff is no longer a sufficient distraction. I'm tired of buying stuff to put in the closet. I want the actual baby to put in the things I've bought.

I guess maybe part of it is her arrival suddenly seems imminent. Up till now the amount of weeks I had left still seemed like a pretty good chunk of time. Eight or even six weeks, say, while not a long time in the grand scheme of things, is still a considerable wait. Now, however, we are (as of Thursday) just four weeks from her due date. I have had the 23rd/24th stuck in my head for a while now and if that turns out to be correct the we are looking at more like three weeks till the big event. That is the very near future, no matter how you slice it. And yet it's still 25 days or so away and 25 days is a long time when you are waiting with bated breath. Were I terribly busy it would fly by, I'm sure, but I am not busy and I've been so bored lately that the days are just dragging. This pregnancy has NOT flown by. It seems like I've been pregnant about twice as long as I already have. So I have no reason to expect the final few weeks to zip by.

Being that I will be considered full-term as of Thursday I find myself looking for any sign that something is happening - contractions, the baby feeling as though she's dropped, etc. I haven't seen anything promising yet -- which means exactly nothing, as I had major progress prior to going into labor both times without ever having had a contraction. I was nesting a bit yesterday and somewhat today, too -- but people can nest for weeks before anything actually happens so I'm not putting too much importance on it.

Bottom line is, I'm ready, ready, READY to have this over with. I am really looking forward to this spring and summer. They hold a lot of promise. There will be a new baby, Abbey Road on the River, my parents' visit, summer vacation bringing a nice break from the routine of school and practices and homework, and a trip to California (my first in a year). And through it all I will be back to feeling NORMAL after three-quarters of a year of utter crap. This means I will be able to enjoy all of these things rather than just getting through them and wishing they were over.

Yep.....I don't know about anyone else but the end of March can't come quickly enough for me. Let's get on with it, already.

Here it is, in all its shadow-casting glory: the 28-week belly.

My apologies, in advance, to anyone with fertility problems who might read this and think I'm horrible and ungrateful. I'm thrilled to bits to have a new baby coming. It's what I wanted and hoped for. So don't get me wrong, here.

But, my God, I am SO DAMNED GLAD that, in 25 weeks, I will be done being pregnant and will NEVER have to do it again!!!

I have never been one to get goopy and sentimental over being pregnant. To me it has always been a means to an end. The first trimester has always sucked. There's a brief period during the second trimester, after I get over being sick and before I get enormous, that is kind of interesting and neat, but it doesn't last long. I pretty much spend the majority of the 40 weeks wishing it was over already. This time is no exception. I thought that, in light of what happened last fall, and the fact that I really wanted another baby, and that this is my last pregnancy, I might experience a change of heart but......no. Pregnancy still is basically just a necessary evil. It is no more fun this time than it has been the other two times. Perhaps even less, as this is the sickest I've been out of all three. This gestating? It's for the birds (who've got it right with the whole egg-laying thing).

Every time I find myself hanging over the sink yet again I just keep telling myself, "You'll never have to do this again. In 5.5 months you'll have an adorable little baby and you'll never have to do this again!"

"What if something happens to Robert, God forbid, and you remarry?" people ask. After all, being that he's all old and stuff, you never know. I sure can't pretend to know what the future holds. My answer to that, though, is one word:

A. DOP. TION.

I will not do this again; I just won't. I've passed on my DNA three times now. I know how it turns out: well. I manufacture some pretty fine specimens, if I do say so. I have both genders represented. There is nothing left for me to wonder about. I feel 100% confident that my gestating days will be over, come March 2007. I am happy, nay, ecstatic, with this conclusion. There is no doubt in my mind about sending Robert merrily off to Doctor Snippy in the spring to have permanent steps taken. And, okay, let's say something did happen to him (God forbid, knock wood and all that). Even if I moved quickly I would be, what, 35 by the time I remarried? You've got to shut the factory down at some point. I'm worn out trying to do this again at 32; I don't care to try it at 36, 37, or beyond. Fuhgeddaboutit. I would kind of like to have my kids out of the house while I'm still young enough to have a little fun.

So, yeah. 25 weeks and counting. I hope my uterus enjoys its last big hurrah.

Here we are today at a whopping 7 weeks along. Only 33 left to go! Ha ha ha ha ha ha.....*sob*

I know that people were blown completely out of the water to find out I am pregnant again. Three words: join the club. To give you some idea of how our (meaning my and Robert's) life tends to go, this is what happened. Over the summer I went through a phase of at least a couple of months where I was all, "Ooh! Baby! Want!" This was extremely unusual. I did not get like that at any point after Madalyn was born. John-Zachary was a happy surprise -- one of those things you didn't know you wanted but you ended up being damned glad the decision was made for you. So getting "the baby bug" (as my mommy friends call it) was completely out of left field. I was so adamant about my feelings that I mentioned it to Robert.

After the paramedics revived him he agreed to think about it for a while. I let the issue lie for a few weeks and then brought it up again, to which his response was, "I just can't handle that right now." Okay, fair enough. I was beginning to think I probably couldn't, either. So I started to try to separate myself from the idea, and wasn't actually finding it difficult. I was starting to truly feel that I was, indeed, happy with the two we had, and grateful that the infant days were behind us, and I was starting to see all the pros to being done and having our kids well on their way to older-childhood. This switch in thinking was just what the cosmic universe was waiting for. Whammo! Here you go, lady.

I'm thinking of having "Be careful what you wish for; you just might get it" tatooed on my ass.

All this aside Robert and I are excited. We both tend to operate under the guiding principle that everything happens for a reason. There's a reason we got JZ, even though we weren't planning for him, and there's a reason this next one is coming. To be honest, I've had a feeling ever since JZ was born that there was someone missing from the family. I've also always had the feeling if we had a third child it would be a girl, so we'll see how that pans out. I was right with the first two. I knew Madalyn was a girl from day one (to the point of buying girl clothes long before the ultrasound confirmed it) and I knew that if we had a second it would be a boy.

As for how I'm feeling, well -- could be worse! Actually, I'm very pleased how things are working out so far in the tummy area. I had a number of days last week when my tummy was unsettled and I had to try to think of foods that would settle it. It would last a few hours then go away for a while. I have really (knock wood) had only one bout of full-blown nausea. That was Friday night and it lasted for an hour or so. Since then, though, yesterday and today I have felt quite good. My tummy is still picky. Thinking about eating certain things (or smelling them) makes it contract in horror. Also, if I let myself get too hungry I feel crummy. But as long as I have eaten I am feeling nearly normal. I pray that this will last! Perhaps the third time WILL be a charm and I will escape having had just a week or so of stomach unrest. The severity of my sickness was cut about in half from pregnancy #1 to pregnancy #2, so I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility that it could be reduced even further with #3. I am not willing to call myself "morning sickness-free" for quite a while yet, though. The actual upchucking didn't start till 8 weeks with Madalyn and 9.5 weeks with JZ! So I will just keep my mouth shut and cross my fingers. I will say, though, that I was feeling worse by this stage in both pregnancies, if memory serves.

I am having some symptoms, though. The sneezing has begun. For some unknown reason I, in early pregnancy, go from sneezing maybe a couple times a week to a dozen or more times a day. It's bizarre. It's also pretty easy to deal with so I'm not complaining. I am pretty worn out, too. Doing a lot of falling asleep on the couch these days. I'm sure as much of the blame for that can be placed on the two kiddos I already have as the one I'm growing.

I weighed in today and haven't gained any weight since last week, which is good. The first two times I lost weight the first twelve weeks but I always assumed it was from being sick and not eating as much. On the other hand, I could just be one of those women who loses weight the first trimester no matter what. (Don't hate me -- I more than make up for it later.) I gained about 33 lbs. both times and I'm really hoping I don't go over that this time. I am swearing on my life this time that I will get back on Weight Watchers the month following the baby's birth. I will have an entire year where I get an extra 10 points a day and I don't want to waste it!

That's all I've got for today.